Just Rambles

Just rambling here in attempts to blog at least once or twice a week. Nothing much to say so just ‘talking’.

Listening to The Stand (Stephen King). Have read both versions, like the second (original) version the best and luckily could get that one on audible.

Have been smoke free since Wednesday. Am surprised at how easy it is this time. There are times that I want one. I want the feel of the cigarette between my fingers, lighting the light and then the cig, inhaling – coughing uncontrollably and knowing I need to quit. Yeah, that last part is why I don’t light one. Now that I can smell again, wow. I hate how I must have smelled. I hate the way my car still smells, and have to do the sniff test on my clothes in my closet lol.

Have washed most of the walls, I have washed linens and cleaned carpets. May take awhile to get this stench out of the house but am pleased with how much better it smells in here.

My favorite thing about not smoking, even though it has only been a few days, is that I sleep at night. Still have insomnia yet when I sleep, I actually sleep. No nightmares either. That is a new one for me. I use to wake up depressed and have to talk myself into getting out of bed, yet haven’t felt that way the past few days. Nothing new and exciting has happened to change that feeling. In fact, things are actually getting worse for me. I guess actually being able to breathe helps more than just physical ability to do things, it helps with your attitude.

It was pouring this morning. So much that the yards were flooded and the water was waterfalling over the road. Poor Brutus couldn’t get out of his back yard. I understood once I put on my boots to coax him out of there to higher ground. I felt like my feet were either going to get stuck in the mud or my legs swept out from under me. Definitely needed hip waders this day. I have short boots, come up to half my calf, and they were filled with water by the time I got to him. Luckily he trusted me enough to follow me out, slowly but we made it. I am grateful, he was stuck back there and couldn’t figure out if he should try to get out. Poor guy. Must have been sleeping in the old chicken coops to get out of the rain and even those were under water at the bases.

Now there is a new momma pit running around over here. She looks like she’s weaning or just finished weaning her pups. Gosh I hate how those owners do these poor dogs. Momma, the original, is gone now. She was so tired and mean that I couldn’t blame her. Pregnant or getting pregnant. That was her life. Now they’ve got a new one.

The girls are moping around the house. For a bit they were confused when the power went out. Normal house noises no longer going on and the rain pouring down. They hate the sound of pouring rain as it is. Then that was all they could hear.

Its clearing up now. Still overcast so I know that there is possibly a lot more rain in our near future. At least the power is back on. I am forever grateful for those that get our power back on regardless of the weather.

The up and downside of things around here is that I applied for unemployment. Have been looking for work since September of last year and still haven’t had luck. I am registered with 2 employment agencies now and still no luck. The latest one gave me some not so good news yesterday. I was to start a temp-to-hire job Monday, and now the client says they don’t have enough work so they’re holding off on getting anyone in there. Might change so they will let me know by Tuesday. Right. Oh, I was denied, after being approved, unemployment. Oh well, will refile and contact them Monday to see what the deal is and why I was denied yet need to refile so I can get benefits?

Bad part is when I call them and they ask how many applications I’ve put in last week I will have to say none. I thought I was going to be starting this Monday at the temp job.

I want to say I give up, but I can’t. There is MY job out there and the timing will be what is right. Until then I will continue to not allow myself to go crazy with worry and concern. I am aware, I am putting myself out there for job opportunities and that is all that I can do right now. I will not lose hope, I will have faith and keep moving forward to ? Moving forward to not getting depressed, that is what.

I keep my mind moving and challenged by studying different things. I don’t know how these things learned will ever benefit me in the long run, yet I know it will somehow. Maybe not in the traditional path of things, but all things I’ve learned have come in handy somewhere down the line.

And the power is out again. Oh well, at least my phone is charged and my coffee is hot.

Love and light to all!

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